Time to Make a Difference

Hey everyone!

I want to ask you guys to do something with me for the month of November. First, it would be really cool if you could visit this website: Letters With a Purpose
Now the point of that blog (made by Eleanor) is to spread God’s love and encouragement to others. By writing just ONE letter, you can touch and change a life for God! So this November, will you join me in writing one letter for each day in November to share God’s love. All you have to do is write a letter and then drop it in a car with the window down, or put it on a shelf in Walmart, or even slip it into a library book! Anywhere you want to put it, you can! To figure out more how to do it, check out the page Want To Help?

If you’re still not quite convinced about the idea, I think you should read this post written by Eleanor before she even created the website. Calling All the World Changers. This post is sad, but definitely motivating, and even if you already want to do something to make a difference in people’s lives through letters this month, you should still read the post!

If you can’t or don’t think this is right for you to write letters, find another way to make a difference for God. We have the choice every single day to smile at a stranger, to love someone, to give your friend a hug, to tell your mom you’re thankful for all that she’s done for you or whatever may fit your situation. We have that choice. God gives us choices like that every day.

But I think that if you feel motivated to make a difference in your town or city for God, and want to do something RIGHT now (or tomorrow) all you have to do is write one letter for each day of November (starting on the first of November) with a link to Letters With a Purpose. To find out more about the details of it, ask Eleanor at YLFC or LWAP (letters with a purpose)!

Thanks for reading, everyone! Talk to me, tell me what’s going on in your lives! I really miss hearing from y’all! Love you guys and girls!




Save a life


I’m fine
every day I answer with the same two words
every time they ask how my life is
and when I answer with my pasted smile
they rush around and tell me about their life’s problems
day after day I smile with my friends, and pretend my life is great
but deep inside I’m hiding that horrid painful ache
can anyone hear my silent plea
can anyone even see
Do they see the trace of tears
Do they care to have me here
Do they notice when I’m hurting
But pretend to still be strong
Will they take time to help me
Or leave me here alone

I see the girl in the corner
The one with tears in her eyes
I want so bad to help her
Even though she says she’s fine
but should I take time out of my day
Should I see if she’s okay?
I can see the ache that’s deep inside
I can see the pain that she tries to hide
I hurt for her, but should I try?
maybe she’d rather just be by herself
But I feel like I should try to help

As I sit here all alone
My friends are gone
I should go home
but I have different thoughts in mind
ones not of happiness, but of crying
I used to feel so happy and free
and think that people cared about me
but now I’m sinking in my pain
and feel like I can’t rise again
And as I wonder if I should take
that choice so tempting should it I make?
And leave this suffering behind
and move on from this painful life…

Could I make a difference?
I’ve prayed to help someone
maybe this is where God can use me
maybe I could just lend a helping hand
I see her gazing far away
into a different better seeming place
and I can see she’s seen her options
she wonders if this life
would be better left behind
and as the thought crosses my mind
it makes me want to sob and cry
to think that someone could value their life so little
because even if they think no one cares
even a stranger like me
loves them so
much more
than they think

As I decide
the world would be better
without me in this life
I try to hold back the tears
As I stand back and decide to leave happiness and emotion here
The only escape that I see left
is the bridge down the road
that leans over the highway
of rushing vehicles
just waiting to pull me from this brutal track called life

I see her standing up
is it time to take action?
could I live with knowing
I did nothing to stop her from her sadness and pain
what if she decides to take her own life away
So I stand up and follow her right out the door
wondering if maybe this is all I was meant for
is to save someone’s life that is precious to God
and I hope I can help her before
she’s too far gone

It seems the last option I have
So I walk down the street
and picture my friends still stuck in their laughs
I’m still in a phase
And as I lean over the edge, I wonder if maybe some day
someone could love me
someone could be sad that I was hurting
as I’m ready to make the choice of my life
I wish that I could also show love
if I’ve never been loved…then how can I know how to love
I blink away tears as I look around me
Escape almost seems happy, but it feels like I’m drowning
in confusion
in pain
in emotion
This is it
goodbye world
But just as I’m ready to take the leap
I feel a hand grab my arm

“Please don’t leave
this world needs your beauty
it needs to know what you already do
others are hurting
don’t leave them alone here
while you take the easy way out”
I pull her into a hug even though we’ve never met
and I feel my own tears coming down
her shoulders starts shaking and she looks into my face
and in her eyes I see unbearable pain

I say “if that’s true
then why am i hurting
more than I knew I could hurt
I feel like I’m dying
from solitude and sadness
when others constantly leave me here alone
No one understands
No one cares
so why did you try to stop me?”
A tear rolls down my face
and I don’t try to stop it
but simply accept her next embrace

“Because I see something
deep in your heart
someone worth saving
someone worth more
than what anyone tells you
even myself
because God made you special
he made you important
I see your potential, what God created in you
And if you try, you can see it too
I promise that if you don’t give up yet,
you can find more in life
You can help more hurting
So please don’t let go
don’t give up now
I see something strong left inside you”

Now I can’t stop the tears
someone sees something inside me
something worth keeping around
Before this moment, I’ve never felt worth
and I’ve never before wanted this Jesus she’s found
but now that she says it
I’ve felt his calling
and wondered if it was for me
and now I’m wondering,
if I could save someone else
like this girl just saved me.


National Suicide Prevention Day

September 10th, 2018

Will you choose to save a life?

Where the Healing Starts – A Short Story

It was one of the hardest times of my life… watching the happiness drain out of her smile as the time dragged by. It was like all she loved in life seemed pulled away, and she couldn’t even find enough strength to put a real smile on her face, or a real laugh on her features. Every moment I was around her, I tried to urge a smile out of her, but it was more fake emotions. The only real emotion she had was sadness, but she was too caring about others to show her sadness… yet I could tell. When I’d see her nodding silently as someone droned on about their life, I could tell her mind had wandered…and when I saw her retreat outside to be alone for a while, I tried to convince myself to go out, to make sure she was okay…even though I knew she wasn’t… yet I didn’t have the courage.

Now, as I sit here in bed, I wonder if I should be doing something. I feel that I’m important. That I could make a difference in her life.. that if I let God use me as I feel He wants to, that I may be able to help her find life again… to find her source of energy, to find her smile. I think about how much this world could be encouraged by a smile like hers. It makes my heart ache thinking about it. Sometimes I feel as though she can never be happy again…but then I think about how I’ve never even tried to help. I’ve never reached out.

I walk down the stairs, my hand running along the smooth wooden railing as I make my way to the porch. Slipping on my old blue converse, I trot down the stairs. After my short trip to the library to return a movie, I find myself driving slowly down the road, nearing her street on my way home. I stop at the sign next to her street, but I don’t keep moving. Something inside me is telling me I need to talk to her. To be the friend I’m supposed to. To check on her. We haven’t been close for a while, but I wonder if I have even let her know that I care? That I love her? She’s seemed so depressed… to think that she may not believe anyone loves her- that thought hurts me me… If something was to happen, and we wouldn’t see each other again, I would have too many regrets to live with.

I feel my left hand pushing upward on the turn signal, and turn onto her street, the familiar house coming into view. I think about how we used to laugh and play so much back when we were close. Back when I saw her more often… before she lost her light. I wonder for a moment if this was a bad idea, but I know I can’t back out now. As I pull up I see her younger brother in the yard talking to his friend. I smile as I pull over to the side of the road and turn the key off. It’s been so long since I saw her brother, I didn’t realize how tall he was now. He used to consider me a big sister, and I thought him as a little brother…

I hop out of the car, then walk slowly towards the house trying to figure out what I will even say. If she’s even home. As I walk up, her brother pauses mid-conversation, a smile sliding over his face.
“Hey, Abbie. Been a while… are you here to talk to Jess?” he looks at me, as if he wants to be more friendly, but still seems slightly awkward.
I pause, a slight grin on my face as I nod. “Yeah, is she here?”
“yeah…in the house” he motions toward the house behind him and then hesitates, but eventually starts his conversation with his friend again.

I walk up to the porch, playing with my hair as I realize I don’t know what to say… Knocking on the door, I wonder if she even wants to see me. As she opens the door, I try to slide a smile on my face, even though seeing her struggling like this is hard.

“Hey Jess.” I say. “Can I come in?”

She nods, a slight smile coming over her face. “Sure.”

I walk in and go to sit on the couch, then pause as I wait for her to come in. I feel tears gather in my eyes as we stare at each other blankly for a while… we’re both so different now. I feel a lump rise in my throat as I go to speak, but some how I manage to get a few words out. “I miss you lately, Jess…” I walk toward her and wrap her in a hug, whispering that I hope she knows I care about her and I want to see her more often. As we release, I see tears running out of her eyes.

And maybe I’m imagining it, but I believe I watched as a bit more light entered her still sad features.
“I miss you too, Abbie.”
And as we hug again I realize that this is where the healing starts, and that I never want to let my dear friend go again. Because I couldn’t bear to live without her. I look upward and whisper a quick word of thanks to God for giving me the strength to talk to her.

Best Friends :) sometimes her hugs are the only thing that can make me feel better.

Just a note: this was a fiction story
Although I do very very much love all of my friends, and would want to be quick to encourage and love them if I saw them struggling.

Look To You…

Person Taking Photo in Sunset

Hey God,
I’m here again
falling on my knees
you know how hard it’s been
you know how it’s been hurting me
I realize that the world’s not perfect
and neither am I
but Christianity is still worth it
and you’re still by my side

Cause I’ll keep fighting
instead of crying
and I’ll get up
when I fall down
because with your strength
I can never loose
so God when the world fails me

Help me Look To You

You’ve watched me cry
collapsed in tears
you’ve seen them gather in my eyes
God, I know you’re still here
sometimes I feel like giving up
but then I realize
with your strength I’ll be enough
I don’t need the world’s lies

Cause you give me strength
when I am weak
you give me bold
when I am meek
and day after day
you make a way
for me
So every minute
I can believe
this race I’ll finish
week by week
when you help me through

So God Help me Look to You

This road is weary
Your road is paved
sometimes it hurts me
but in you I’m saved
When I stray
I feel the pain
but you always lead me
home again
into your loving arms

God I need you
to help me be strong
cause right now I’m not

God you are the one who gives me new life every day
God you are the one that shows me your narrow perfect way
and I know if I seek you one day I’ll meet you face to face
but God right now… I need your strength

Help me believe
when there’s nothing left to see
Help me be strong
when I feel nothing but weak
and help me walk straight
even if I don’t see the path
Help me know the way
when I can’t do the math
And God
when I’m hurting
when I’m confused
and God when I’m tired….

Lord, Help Me Look To You.


attractive, beautiful, beautyPlease.

Please tell me what’s going on
I know something happened
I’m not blind to how you’ve been
I see when you’re trying to hold it together
when you sit by yourself with your earbuds in
when you’re trying to isolate yourself from others so you can “think”
I worry about you nonstop
and you don’t even see
you don’t think anyone cares…
but I do
when no one even notices you rush away quietly
I do
when no one seems to care that you haven’t said a word all night
I do
when no one realizes that you haven’t smiled for weeks
I do


Please just admit it
that you’re lost in a world
full of pain and hurt
look, I’m trying to clear away all the fog
between your worlds of joy and sadness
but it’s hard to help
when you won’t even let me see your face
I miss seeing your smile
hearing your laugh
Now all I can see is that blank expression that masks the pain you feel
The pasted on smile
the lies you answer with when someone asks how you’ve been
The shattered pieces of your heart
the broken shards of who you once were
I try to catch them
to piece them back together again
but you refuse
Your eyes are stained with sadness and hurt
I can tell you’re always thinking about it
you don’t think I know
but I do


Please just show me
how much you’re still hiding
I know you need to get it out
but you won’t open up
and every time I try to help
you turn away
I beg for you to listen
to be yourself again
but you just aren’t the same
and I fear you never will be if you won’t tell someone
You’ve taught yourself to deal with it
how to just play along with happiness and good times
but sometimes I see when it becomes too much and you have to leave
I want to go after you, to tell you it’s alright
That you don’t have to try and hide how hard it is
not with me
because I’m the one you used to always say was like family
but I know you won’t listen to me


Please just let me help you
stop pulling away
you’re breaking me too
when you won’t tell me anything
I thought we were friends
but why won’t you trust me enough to tell my why you’re being like this
you always used to tell me secrets and laugh with me
you’d tell me you loved me
but now you hardly say a word
do you even know how much I care?
do you even notice how worried I am for you?
you’ve not only changed you, you’ve changed me
I can’t smile when I see your tear stained face
I can’t enjoy the moment when I see the thoughts you’re having
I can’t focus when all I can think about is how much you’re hurting


Please just listen to me
I want to help you
you’re letting yourself drown
when there’s a hand to save you
please don’t turn away
I’m begging you to receive love
I’ll admit that I love you
that I’d do anything for you
I’d beat myself before I’d watch you suffer so bad
before I’d watch you suffocate in pain like this
just stop hurting yourself worse than you’ve already been hurt
stop hurting me by leaving when I try to talk to you
stop pulling away when I grab your arm
stop turning away when I tell you that you can always talk to me
stop lying to me when I ask you how you’re really doing
you don’t think I can see through the mask
but I can
you don’t think I can see the pain you’ve been hiding from the people around you
but I can
you don’t think anyone can care about you, or know what you’re feeling
but I can


Please just look me in the eyes
and tell me what’s going on
I’m tired of all you hide
I wish you’d let me help
Stop telling me all the lies
and let me hear the truth
Even if I already know you’ve been hurt
I want to hear you tell me
Even if I already know you’re not okay
I want you to admit it
Even though you may not want comfort, you may not want help
I want to know that you trust me enough to tell me
that you’ll let out the pain you’ve been storing inside


Please at least let someone stronger help you
I know I can’t always do the best job
I can’t always be there
but you haven’t even talked about God for ages
and I see you flinch when he’s brought up
don’t you know he didn’t do this to you?
can’t you see that he’s trying to help you?
I know I can’t always make everything better
but God can
I know I’m trying to fix wounds that only GOD can heal
so please at least let him help you
He’ll pull you out of the pit that you’re sinking in
He’ll rescue you from the grasp of pain
If you’ll only turn to him, and turn to others
He can help you
more than I ever could
But please turn to him
And please let him use me to help you


Please realize that
you need it
I need it
Let me hold you tight
so that I can feel your heart beat again
Let me see the tears you’re ashamed to show
so that I can see the smile that I miss
Let me hear about the pain you’ve hid
so that I can hear the laugh that I miss
Let God help you
so that I can listen to your prayers again
God wants to have you back
I want to have you back.
Because God loves you
and he misses you
and because I love you
and I miss you


Standing in the Rain

Splash of Water

you ask why I’m standing
standing here in the rain
you say that it’s cold and it’s wet
but I already knew that
and I don’t really care
that’s why I so badly need it
I can’t help but wonder
how it can be so
healing just to stand here and feel it
the calmness
the cool touch
the quick rush
of wind
of rain
of hurt
of pain
in that instant it’s all gone
wiped away again
yet you tell me to come inside
because you don’t yet understand the feeling
that I get when I’m standing in the rain

I’m older now
but life has only gotten harder
it’s harder to hang on through the curves
They take you by surprise
when they come and hit you
the twists, the turns, the swerves
it seems like when
I just can’t handle it
God gives me a day
full of breezes and rain
but you come out and ask
yes you always still say
why, why, do you so love the rain?
I tell you that one day
you’ll understand the feeling
that I get when I’m standing in the rain

life hits me hard
and I still keep my secret
my love of the rain and the breeze
only you know
how much it calms me
and how many of my emotions it frees
you’ve seen the tears running
side by side with the rain
and you’ve heard me talk about
how it rids of the pain
and I know that you’ve seen
all the times that I’ve screamed
into the night sky
and to the night breeze
the words I can’t tell anyone else
but the wind carries it all away
it keeps all my secrets
not a one will it tell
and my stress blows away and decays
but through all of this,
no you just can’t understand the feeling
that I get when I’m standing in the rain

I know it’s been hard lately,
harder than ever
and it’s hard to understand why
but day after day
I sit here and watch you
sit here and watch you cry
I wish I could help you
but I every time I try
you tell me you just need some time
and you think I don’t see
day after day
the pain that you try to hide
but just like he does always
God brings you his blessing
and the drops come pouring down
and that’s where I find you
when you’re gone from the house
that’s where you’ve gone now
as I watch you in the rain
I wonder, really wonder
if you understand the feeling
that I get when I’m standing in the rain

it’s been oh so long
since I’ve seen you laughing
or felt a smile on my face
Now that she’s gone,
I know we’ve been trying
to figure out how to continue life’s race
it’ll never be easy
but I know we won’t give up
cause we’ll always be there for each other
no matter what happens
or what ever may come
I’ll never forget my dear mother
you cry with me when
you see me hurting
I comfort you when I can tell
that it’s been a long day
and you try to act fine
but I still know you too well
But just when we need it
the wind starts blowing
and the clouds gather in to cry hard
I grab onto your hand
and pull you out in it
and together we stand in the yard
when the raindrops have washed away our tears
and there’s nothing left to do
I nod and I look
I look over at you,
and I hear you finally say,
“Now I understand the feeling
that you get when you’re standing in the rain”

A Mother’s Love

Mothers Day Background, Mothers Day, Child, Background

The bond between a mother and a child

one so special and sweet

The bond between the one who gave so much

and the little one like me

I know my mom went through hard times

times that were probably my fault

but she still stuck with me

she stuck with me through it all

no matter what life may bring us,

it can never separate

the bond that I share with my mother

all those nights so late

all those crazy busy days

rushing around doing crazy things

my few words of hate

and yours of love

when we’d finally make up

and I’d have to admit

you were always right

It will never separate

the bond that I share with my mother

the times that you’ve given me a back rub

when all you wanted was a nap

or the times that for my birthday

you gave me a giant expensive map

because you knew me so much better

than everyone else

and no matter what was bothering me

you figured out the best way to help

No matter what happens

it will never separate

the bond that I share with my mother

all those times that I questioned

who I really was

you’d show me that God was the answer

From your example through

all that life threw your way

you taught me to come to the alter

to surrender to God

like you always did

and now I know I can make it

and that no matter what happens

nothing can separate

the bond that I share with my mother

you’ve taught me so much

and I’m glad that I have

more time left before I leave for life’s call

but whenever I do

I’ll be ready to

because of what you’ve shown me through it all

and when I someday have my own kids

I’m sure every day you’ll get a call

“Mom, I don’t know how you did it”

But from what you have and will tell me

I hope that one day

my child will say

nothing will ever separate

the bond that I share with my mother

just like I’m saying

Mom, I love you.

And no matter what comes my way

Nothing will EVER EVER separate

the bond that I share with my mother